


Stand by You

by laykay



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Waverly has PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7322758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laykay/pseuds/laykay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicole notices Waverly exhibiting some signs of PTSD after she's exorcised of the demon and tries to get her to get help but Waverly starts to push her away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bringing some angst and drama into my normally fluffy wayhaught fanfic bubble but after everything Waverly went through in the season finale, she's not going to be okay. I'll probably keep posting fluffy wayhaught between updates on this one but I hope you guys enjoy this

The nightmares came frequently. Sometimes as much as three times a week. The first time Nicole was woken up by Waverly’s screams, she reached for her gun until she turned on the light and realized no one was in the room, just her and Waverly. Waverly kicked and screamed until Nicole woke her up as gently as she could then held her until she went back to sleep.

By the tenth time she was woken up by screams, Nicole didn’t even flinch before reaching for Waverly and holding her tight until she calmed herself down.

Nicole was exhausted. She couldn’t do her job safely half asleep.

“I’m sorry,” Waverly said one morning, while Nicole poked at her eggs with her fork but didn’t eat.

“It’s not your fault, babe. I know it’s not, but…” She sighed. “Maybe you should try getting help.”

“What kind of help?”

Nicole looked down at her breakfast. “There are therapists who specialize in it.”

“What, nightmares?”

Nicole sighed softly. “Post traumatic…”

“No,” Waverly interrupted. “Besides, what am I supposed to say, I got possessed by a demon two months ago and now I can't sleep?”

She had expected Waverly to be angry at her suggestion. “We don't need to tell them that part but... we can’t live like this, Waves.”

“You mean you can’t live like this?” she spat back at her. 

“No. That’s not what I said,” Nicole said, holding her hand out towards Waverly. “Baby, you need help.”

"I’ll stay with Wynonna.” She got up from the table and collected their plates, including Nicole’s that was still mostly full.

"No." Nicole stood up. "I don't want that. I want you to get help. I want you to be okay."

Waverly threw the plates into the sink, Nicole closed her eyes when she heard ceramic breaking inside the metal sink. “I'm not. I'm not okay. No one can help me! What don’t you get about that?”

“But you can…”

Waverly rolled her eyes, already sick of this conversation. “Don’t you have to go to work?”

“Waverly, come on.”

“No, I know, you need to work. It’s fine. Go.”

Nicole frowned. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Am I ever?”

Waverly closed her eyes as Nicole kissed the side of her head. “Just try to relax, okay? We’ll talk about this tonight,” Nicole whispered, Waverly didn’t respond.

\-----------

Nicole checked her phone every five minutes during the day. She would send Waverly small messages: _How are you? Did you sleep at all? I love you._ Waverly saw them, she’d gotten read receipts but never an actual response. 

“Hey,” Wynonna said as she walked into the station later than normal. “Did you and my sister have a fight?”

“No,” Nicole said, then she frowned. “I don’t think so. Why, what’s wrong?”

“Wait, you don’t know?”

Nicole blinked, her heart starting to beat faster. “What don’t I know?”

Wynonna was silent for a moment. “She uh... she came to the homestead this morning with all of her stuff.”

Nicole stared at her. She and Waverly hadn’t officially moved in together but they rarely spent a night apart, more and more of Waverly’s things found their way to Nicole’s apartment until she had taken over two dresser drawers, a shelf in the bathroom and half the closet. 

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Wynonna asked, but Nicole didn't answer. “Sorry, it’s none of my business,” Wynonna said before walking away. 

Nicole picked up her phone again, her hands shaking. _Why?_ She typed. Seconds later, grey text beneath the message appeared to say it had been read. No response came.


	2. Chapter 2

_She couldn’t breathe._

_Waverly wasn’t sure if it was Wynonna’s knee on her back as Doc tied her wrists with his belt or if whatever had entered her body was trying to kill her and take over. Either way, she was about to die._

_Doc had shot the gun out of her hand after she’d pointed it at Wynonna’s head. There was blood in the snow, on Wynonna’s shirt, and on Waverly’s clothes. She had no idea who had been shot but Wynonna didn’t seem to be in pain._

_They rolled Waverly onto her back, Wynonna straddled her legs to keep her pinned. Waverly tried in vain to free her hands from behind her back, finally managing to sit up and hit Wynonna’s head with her own._

_Wynonna stood, pulling Waverly up along with her, she and Doc began dragging Waverly to the truck. They laid Waverly down on the flatbed, Wynonna tossed her keys to Doc and climbed into the back to put Waverly’s head onto her lap._

_Waverly stared up at her sister as she spoke to her, moving her fingers through her hair, but her ears ringing and Wynonna’s words were barely whispers. “Fight it, baby girl,” she was able to read Wynonna’s lips. “You can do it.”_

_She couldn’t fight it. It was stronger than her. She wished they would let her go so she could run to wherever the demon wanted her to run, away from them. They would be safe._

_“Peacemaker,” she managed to say, looking up at Wynonna._

_“No,” Wynonna said. She kissed her little sister’s forehead then turned to hit the back window of the cab. “Doc, faster!”_

_Wynonna turned back to her, talking to her again but Waverly’s eyes rolled back in her head, her body seizing._

_“Waverly!”_

_She woke up three days later in the hospital, her wrist bandaged to halfway up her arm. Nicole and Wynonna were both asleep in the visitor’s chairs. She didn’t speak, just looking at them until they woke up._

_First Wynonna who did a double take when she saw Waverly’s eyes open then nudged Nicole awake and they ran over to her bed. Wynonna hugged her tightly while Nicole kissed her forehead, cheeks and lips._

_“You’re okay, baby,” she whispered. “You’re okay.”_

\-----------

The scar on her arm was a constant reminder that she was not okay, that she had to be shot so she wouldn’t kill her sister. Sister. She didn’t have a sister.

She had no one.

She jumped when Wynonna walked through the front door, letting it swing shut behind her with a loud clang. Wynonna paused when she found Waverly sitting on the couch, staring at a black TV.

“Is it broken again?” she asked, pressing the power button, then blinking as it turned on. “I know that daytime television sucks, but maybe watching it would make your day go by faster until you’re cleared to go back to work.”

Waverly didn’t respond, still staring blankly at the screen.

Wynonna looked between Waverly and the TV. “Or were you watching it? I’m sorry, did I interrupt your show?” She turned the set off again.

She sighed in response.

“Okay, good. Breathing is good.” Wynonna sat next to her on the couch. “So, do you want to talk about what happened with you and Nicole?”

“No,” she said simply.

“Yeah, I kinda figured that. And that’s cool, you don’t need to. None of my business. Problem is, Nicole is also completely clueless and it is kind of her business seeing as it’s also her relationship.”

“If Nicole wants to talk, she can come talk to me.”

Wynonna nodded. “Except that you moved out on her without telling her and you won’t answer her texts.”

“What are you, her messenger?” 

“I’m just worried about you, Waves. We both are.”

“I didn’t move out. I never really moved in. This is my house.” Her voice broke on the last sentence. She knew she had no claim to the land anymore but couldn’t lose the homestead too.

“Hey, I know.” Wynonna put one arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm. “This is always going to be your house, okay? But you don’t spend a lot of time here anymore.” She kissed the side of her head quickly. “You know that you can come here whenever you want. But, you know, there’s this girl who spends like 18 hours a day staring at you and she might miss you.”

Waverly didn’t respond, leaning her head against Wynonna’s shoulder.

"Can I turn the TV on now?" Wynonna whispered and got no response. "No? Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

_Disturbance at the Earp homestead. Shots fired._

The words from Nicole’s radio echoed in her ears as she sat in the backseat of Dolls’ black SUV. Wynonna tried in vain to call Waverly, giving up after her fifth call went to voicemail. “You try,” she told her, looking over the seat at the redhead.

“She’s not speaking to me, remember? Can you drive any faster?” she asked Dolls.

Dolls didn’t respond to her but sped up slightly until he pulled onto the land of the homestead. Nicole jumped out of the car before it stopped completely and ran towards the house. Wynonna slowed when she saw a large buckshot hole in the side of the house then ran full speed inside.

Nicole was already upstairs and looking room to room, while Wynonna went into the kitchen and Dolls went towards the living room, his gun drawn. 

He spotted Waverly on the floor behind a chair, clutching her rifle to her chest. “Earp, Haught, in here.” He knelt down in front of her. “Is someone else here?” he asked her, she shook her head. “Are you okay?” She blinked at him in response.

Wynonna and Nicole ran into the room, Nicole quickly going to sit next to Waverly. “What was it, baby?” she asked without thinking about using the pet name. “What was it?” She pushed Waverly’s hair behind her ear, half expecting her to move away but she had no reaction.

“I thought… I thought I heard a noise,” Waverly said, her voice shaking. She let her gun fall out of her arms. “I didn’t… I don’t know if…”

Wynonna sat on Waverly’s other side, putting her arm around her. "It's fine," she whispered. "It's okay."

“No one else is here, no one’s outside,” Dolls told her. “You didn’t hurt anyone.”

Waverly nodded her head. "I'm sorry. I don't know..."

“Hey, it's fine. And you know what?” Wynonna whispered, squeezing Waverly’s arm. “We needed a window over there anyway.”

\-----------

Nicole knocked once on Waverly’s bedroom door before pushing it open, seeing her sitting on her bed. “We finished up patching the hole,” she told her. “I’ll leave if you want me to.”

Waverly shook her head, so Nicole walked into the room and sat on the bed without getting too close to her. 

“Look, I understand if you need time after what happened, and I respect that,” Nicole started. “But I’d like to know where we stand, if that’s not too much to ask.”

“I just need to figure out who I am,” Waverly muttered.

“I can tell you who you are. You’re Waverly Earp. You’re the bravest, most amazing woman I’ve ever met. And you’re not too bad to look at either.”

Waverly smiled but it quickly faded. “But what if I’m not? What if I’m not who I thought I was?”

“Nothing’s changed, Waves. I know, you’re not doing too good right now but you can get better. You’re still you.”

Waverly looked at her, shaking her head. “Why are you so nice to me after how I treated you?”

“Because I love you,” Nicole said simply. “Because I know you’re not doing this on purpose. Because I know you’re scared.” She leaned over to kiss Waverly’s head quickly. “I’ll let you rest.”

Waverly watched as Nicole headed back for her bedroom door. “Hey,” she called before she exited the room. “You’re at least sleeping better without me there to wake you up, right?”

Nicole looked at her, trying to decide between telling Waverly the truth, that she could hardly sleep without her next to her, or to lie. She wasn’t sure if either would make her feel better. “I got used to you being there,” she said simply.

“Nicole?” Waverly’s voice said in a little over a whisper. “I know that we’re not… anymore… but can you stay? Just for a little while?”

Nicole nodded and took off her jacket, tossing it into a chair that sat against the wall before returning to Waverly’s bed, sitting up against the headboard to let Waverly decide how close she wanted to be, her eyes widening when she curled up against her.

“Sorry,” Waverly whispered. “I just…”

“It’s fine.” Nicole put her arm around her to rub her back. “Whatever you need, I’m not going anywhere.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter content warning:** there is some talk about self harm in this chapter. There's no actions, no descriptions of anything graphic. I don't know if it would be enough to effect anyone but obviously everyone's different and I didn't want to post this with no warning.
> 
> This is also a shorter chapter, even though it's a pivotal chapter, it can be skipped pretty easily if anyone needs to.

“Where’s my gun?” Waverly asked, going from the spot where she’s dropped in on the floor to the case that normally held it. “Wynonna!”

Wynonna walked into the room, already looking tired. “Yeah?” Waverly motioned to the empty gun case, Wynonna shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” she said simply.

“Don’t… Wynonna, where is my gun?” Waverly demanded. 

“We locked it up. You don’t need it right now, Waves.”

“You can’t do that.”

Wynonna sighed. “Waverly, you could have killed somebody. Luckily, you were just hearing things but what if it had been me or Gus or Nicole... or anyone else?”

“You can’t just take my gun.”

“I didn’t,” Wynonna finally said. “Dolls did. It’s in his safe at the station. It’s for your own good.”

Waverly shook her head. “I had one thing! I had one thing that’s mine.” She turned away from Wynonna, her eyes starting to tear up. 

“What were you planning to do with it?”

“What does it matter?”

“It matters.”

“What? Do you think I’m gonna hurt myself or something?” Waverly asked. When Wynonna didn’t answer, Waverly took a step back. “Oh my God. You do. You think I’ll hurt myself.”

“I think you’re going through a lot right now and…” Wynonna cut herself off when Waverly walked to the kitchen. 

“You know if I want to hurt myself, I don’t really need my gun right?” Waverly asked when Wynonna appeared in the entrance to the kitchen. The younger woman pulled open the utensil drawer, picking up a handful of knives and throwing them to the floor then dumped the knives out of the butcher block. “You gonna take everything away? You want my shoelaces? My belts? My scarves?”

“Waverly, you cannot have a gun right now, okay? I’m not gonna be your prison warden but you’re my sister,” Wynonna said, making Waverly shake her head. “We’re all each other has.”

“I’m not your sister,” Waverly whispered, sinking onto the kitchen floor.

Wynonna blinked, walking over to sit on the floor next to Waverly. “What did you just say?” 

“I’m not your sister,” she said again, her voice breaking as tears filled her eyes.

“Why do you think that? Who told you that?”

“Is it true?”

“Who told you that?” Wynonna asked again.

“Do you remember Mama being pregnant with me?”

“Yes. I remember holding you the day you were born.”

“What if I got switched or what if Daddy isn’t…”

“Hey, hey,” Wynonna whispered, pulling Waverly into her arms to hug her tightly. “You are my sister. I don’t care what anyone says, okay?”

“I’m not though. I’m not an Earp.” Her voice broke again, Wynonna kissed the side of her head.

“I need to know who told you that because I’m gonna kill ‘em.”

“You already did. Bobo.”

“Okay, first of all, never believe a word that comes out of any Revenant’s mouth, especially him. Second, you are Waverly Earp and nothing will ever change that.”

“I need to know.”

Wynonna nodded, holding her a bit tighter. "Okay. We'll find out for sure. It doesn't matter though, you're my sister, no matter what."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just gonna be a wayhaught chapter cause I've been ignoring Nicole a lot

Waverly hated waiting. Even though Dolls assured her that the DNA results would only take a couple days, every minute that ticked by without answers felt like an eternity.

She looked up when there was a knock on the door but didn’t move. She knew that Dolls would be with Wynonna, they wouldn’t knock and Doc mostly kept to himself in the barn. There was another knock, Waverly sighed and shifted to lay down on the couch, hoping that whoever was there would leave.

The door opened and closed, followed by Nicole’s voice. “Waverly?”

“In here,” she replied, not moving from her position on the couch.

Nicole frowned as she walked into the room and saw her. “Are you okay?”

“Peachy. Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I took half a personal day. Wynonna said you shouldn’t be alone.”

Waverly sighed, finally sitting up so Nicole could sit. “Wynonna says a lot of things.”

“I know. She’s worried about you. She’s not the only one.”

“Hey, don’t be. I’m a big girl.”

“Are you still having nightmares?”

Waverly nodded her head. “No one’s there to wake me up from them. Wynonna could sleep through a tornado ripping the house apart.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. You know, you don’t need to go through this alone. Just because we’re on a break, or whatever this is, it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

“I know,” Waverly said, nodding again. “I don’t even know what’s going on in my own head, trying to make sense of it, to talk about it.” She trailed off, shaking her head. “Saying it out loud…”

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to. Why don’t we start with the dream? Is it always the same?”

Waverly shook her head. “It’s always someone different.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Anytime I close my eyes, the demon, it's still in me and I hurt people or I…” she trailed off, closing her eyes.

“You didn’t hurt anyone, you won’t. I know you don’t want to.”

“I did. I wanted to kill everyone. Everyone who was in my way.”

“Waves, that wasn’t you.”

“What if it is?”

“You don’t want to hurt people, I know you don’t.”

“What if I can’t save them? Is that the same as hurting them?”

Nicole turned to look at her, tucking one leg under her body. “It’s not just on you. Black Badge is a team and, when you’re ready, you’ll come back.”

“I’m not supposed to be there though.”

“What’s that mean? What, you think you belong on the other side or…”

“No. No, but I’m not a cop or the Earp heir. I might not even be…” she cut herself off, shaking her head. “I just don’t belong anywhere.”

“You belong, Waverly.” She reached over to take her hand. “You’re still my best friend, okay? Whatever you need, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m your best friend?” she asked, a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips.

“I’m always gonna love you and I’ll love you however you want me to, however you need me to. Unless that’s not at all, because that’s just not an option. There’s no getting rid of me.”


	6. Chapter 6

Waverly looked up as Wynonna walked into the homestead, holding Dolls’ tablet in her hand. “The results came in,” she told her as she sat on the couch next to her.

“And?”

“I didn’t look. I thought we should be together when…”

“When we find out we’re not related?” Waverly finished.

“Waves, come on. We went over this, no matter what this stupid thing says, we’re sisters.”

Waverly just nodded. “Dolls knows? How did he act?”

“Meaning did he give me any hints? No, Dolls is Dolls.”

Waverly nodded again as Wynonna handed her the tablet. “No. You do it.”

Wynonna put her arm around Waverly’s shoulders as she took the tablet back. Waverly closed her eyes, not wanting to see Wynonna’s face when she saw the results. 

“Shit,” she whispered. The tablet fell onto Wynonna’s lap, her arm tightening a bit around Waverly’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

Waverly squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She’d been preparing herself for this moment for months but it still hit her like a sledgehammer to her chest. She separated herself from Wynonna, moving to the other side of the couch and curling herself into a ball.

“I’m sorry,” Wynonna said again. “You officially can’t get rid of me.”

Waverly opened her eyes as Wynonna handed her the tablet. She took it, her hands shaking as she read the results. Full genetic match. “You bitch!” She hit Wynonna in the shoulder with the tablet, tears falling from her eyes.

“Hey! You break Dolls’ tablet, he’s gonna be pissed at you, baby sister.”

Waverly smiled, the tablet falling out of her hands as she hugged Wynonna tightly. “That was really mean,” she sobbed.

Wynonna just laughed. “Yeah, well. What else is new?”

Waverly let out a quick laugh, looking at the tablet again as if she had somehow read wrong. 

“Two DNA tests in four months and no surprise children showing up at the front door looking for their mommy. I never thought that would happen.”

“Do not say you have a baby out there somewhere.”

Wynonna shrugged. “2014 is kind of a blur.”

Waverly rolled her eyes, wiping tears from her cheeks. “You’re in good form today.”

“Well, I’m in a good mood. What about you? How are you holding up?”

“Good and bad days. I’m always exhausted but…”

“Cause you’re not sleeping, right?”

Waverly blinked. “How did you…”

“Same way I find out pretty much everything about you, from Nicole. You never said anything about nightmares.”

Waverly shrugged one shoulder. “Comes with the territory, I guess. And sorry, about the Nicole thing.”

“It’s fine. You and her are… whatever you guys are. Look, you gotta tell me how you’re feeling cause I haven’t fully grasped the mind reader thing yet.”

“I don’t expect you to read my mind, I can barely make sense of it all on my own. Besides, this is my thing. You have more important stuff to worry about.”

“More important…” Wynonna started, then shook her head. “Hey, there’s nothing more important to me than you.”

“I can think of at least five things and three of them are inanimate objects. I tell Nicole things because she asks, she cares.”

“If you think I don’t care…”

Waverly shook her head. “I know you do. You just have other things going on and I get it. It’s fine, really. I’m used to it.”

“Waverly…”

“Don’t. Don’t change things just cause… cause I’m sick. That’s not doing me any favors, right?”

“I’ll change things because it needs to change. I promise, okay? I’m gonna be a better sister.”


End file.
